Thursday, August 5, 2010

Transference & weight...pray & wait!

Transference in the medical profession, for the most part, can be pretty straight forward.  Patient's trauma and pain often brings out other internal or emotional wounds.  Often times, as treatment proceeds, well, a medical professional can become the "sounding board" for a few other problems.  At this point, it can be fairly easy to see when a patient has unrealistic expectations of a professional.   After 13 years, I've been able to clue in on some of these and adjust treatment plan/session accordingly.

So, why is it that when it comes to transference within a friendship or a closer relationship that this subtle phenomenon can sneak up on me and blind side me like none other?!  I'm generally the "good girl" or the "tough girl" that plays by the rules and can just keep "toughing it out" to the next season or the next accomplishment.  And, well, I think when these qualities are combined with a really good season...well, I become vulnerable...or "attractive" to those that are in very tough places.  Don't get me wrong...I KNOW, in a blink of an eye, God can reverse this....AND, he HAS.  However, that weight that we pick-up in care taking someone in a bad position can get heavier and heavier.  We start to "carry the load" thinking we are following God's command to carry one anothers burdens, and then somewhere along the line we cross-over to a point where the weight becomes too much.  Transference has occured and now, no one really knows where one begins and ends and no one knows whose crap is whose!?!?  Subtle and very frustrating.
Now, when this MUCH are we supposed to work on healing or balance?  Or...I wonder how LONG are we supposed to wait for seasons to shift, our wounds to heal, someone or something to change?  Well, I believe we are SUPPOSED TO GO THE DISTANCE...

"If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles."  -Matthew 5:41

My pastor recently talked about "hanging in there" for two years with a narcissitic friend of hers and they FINALLY had some break!  I can't imagine...but, good for her for hanging in there!  Why can't we all do that?
Why can't I be in it for the long haul?  Not give up?  Forgive, forgive, forgive, forgive????!!!!!  Something we all need to think about.  I have to admit...I think I have given up too quickly on some of my brothers and sisters.  However, finding that balance of "hanging in there" and not allowing the weight to over take us...THAT's the tricky part.

So, if you're feeling the weight of transference or whatever the case may be...pray and do your best to hang in there and find that manageable and appropriate balance!  WAIT for Jesus!  I believe He will show up and heal at the right time.  He will wait for YOU, Beloved!  So, wait for your friend...or your brother and sister...for they are also His!  We are all His Beloved...may we learn to carry one another's burdens in the appropriate and safe way that He calls us to, all while praying and waiting!  And, in that waiting, I pray we all would somehow be able to trust and worship Him!  I believe we might just be surprised to find all along...Jesus was waiting for us...His Beloved...His Bride!

"I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD." -Psalm 27:13-14

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